When life gets in the way of your Jiu-jitsu…


Ah, life. Isn’t it great. Everything is fine and then, BAM! Like a choke you didn’t see coming, life slaps you in the face with a reality check. Great…

What have I been up to…

If you’ve read my about page, then you know I have a full time job. Like any job, things change and occasionally, you need to reevaluate your career. That’s where I am now. Looking at where I’ve been and where I want to go. Don’t get me wrong, I love my current company and it’s been a fantastic ride, but it’s time for a change. I’m growing in a different direction and in order to move forward, unfortunately, it means a change in company.

The honest truth

I’ve been debating whether or not I should include this section, but I want to track all of my experiences and emotions.  For the past few months, I’ve lost my passion for Jiu-jitsu. This has been the only low point in the nearly 4 I’ve been doing this sport.

For several months Jiu-Jitsu has become a chore. I don’t have the fire and passion I once had. The drive and determination to be better, do better, has been non-existent. Going to practice is just routine now, something to do to fill the time. It’s been a real struggle. Practice is fun, and I love all my training partners, but when I leave, there’s almost a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach. I wonder why I even went.

Like most women, I’m an emotional creature, and some days it’s difficult to separate those emotions to focus on training. I don’t want to bad mouth my school, but there are changes happening that don’t sit well with me. I’m all about change and willing to be flexible because our instructor is amazing, but some days, it’s a real struggle.

So…what does that mean for my training?

In my last post, Last Woman Standing…, I discussed our school’s move and changes in training partners. This change has been more difficult than I had anticipated and has created new challenges. The upside is that I have a variety of partners to train with. The downside has been the development of anxiety and panic when someone wants to just “be heavy” (I will be writing a post about this later).

Recently, I have been splitting my mat time between my main school and a friend’s. Before anyone gets upity about school loyalty and what not, hear me out. I’m considering other options for training as the new schedule at my current school is conflicting with my job, among other reasons. I’m aware that some schools prefer that you not train anywhere else, but this is your journey. Do your homework before you commit. You may find a style or teaching method you prefer at a different gym. I’ll be writing another post on this topic at a later date.

My Jiu-Jitsu passion is coming back!

The change in routine has started to rekindle the fire and I’m slowly coming out of the fog. This has also provided ample opportunity to try things I’m struggling with and work through the anxiety. We’ve also had a sudden surge of interest at both schools. Occasionally, I assist with teaching; this is great at helping me solidify what I’ve learned in addition to passing on some knowledge I wished I’d known when I first started. I highly recommend it when you (and your instructor) feel you’re ready.

My grappling is so-so. Nowhere near where I would like it be. I’m still struggling with movement. When there’s no room to move, I struggle to make space, even with the lightest opponent. This is an ongoing issue and a  very frustrating one at that. I still need a lot of drilling time, which I haven’t been putting in recently (that’s on me). With the holidays upon us, the schools will be closed for the rest of the year. Time to start the new year fresh!

Goals for 2019

With a rough 2018 coming to an end, it’s time to start looking towards the new year; time for goal setting. Now, I’m not the “New Year’s Resolution” kind of person. I set goals, meet them, and set new ones. If adjustment is required, then I make some changes. Life requires flexibility.

I know that I will have more goals in the coming year, but here are just a few:

  • Attend class 3 days a week instead of 4.
  • Become an assistant instructor.
  • Add Muay Thai to my training schedule at least twice a month.
  • Publish a blog every week.
  • Add life shots to my blogs from practice (so you see what I’ve been up to).

In the coming weeks I’ll be posting about my anxiety, changing schools, and work-life-Jiu-jitsu balance, and some helpful tips only women will understand.